Why I'm No Longer Afraid of Failure
I used to be terrified of failure.
Like many other high-achieving first-gen eldest daughters, I grew up telling myself it simply was not an option. Not only would it feel horrible, it would be embarrassing. 😳 Not just for me, but for my whole family.
I speak in hypotheticals here though, because I didn’t really fail much growing up.
➡️ Because I didn't let myself fail.
I was great at school and picked extracurricular activities I knew I wouldn't struggle with. (Except when my high school made us do mandatory sports, and I picked cross country. I sucked, but I was worse at hand-eye coordination sports with balls. Even THEN somehow I ended up on Varsity, mostly because our team wasn't very fast and JV didn't really exist 🤣)
I basically only put myself in situations where I wouldn’t fail. Because when I succeeded, I was praised and validated, and I felt loved and valuable.
My parents didn’t even have to push me. The pressure I put on myself was enough. I was conditioned to believe that success = worthiness. And that performing well meant I was making my parents’ sacrifices worthwhile.
The Side Effects of “Failure Is Not an Option”
This drive to succeed served me, to a point.
I went to the university I wanted to go. I made my parents proud. I felt worthy.
But this mentality of “failure not being an option” started to have some serious side effects:
I had chronic pain in my neck and back from holding so much tension in my body, from literally carrying so much pressure I was putting on myself. (At one point, I couldn't sit more than 10 minutes at a time without being in excruciating pain)
I felt stuck because I was too scared to go for the ideas that actually excited me, because what if it didn't work out? I felt stifled and frustrated because I was suppressing my creativity.
When I did “fail” in life or business, I was incredibly hard on myself and felt ashamed.
And turns out, fear of failure can be pretty debilitating as an entrepreneur.
When "Failure" Isn’t Actually Failure
Fast forward to now, and people sometimes ask me how I was able to leave my 9-5 so quickly and grow my business. Wasn’t I scared?
Honestly? No.
Because this wasn’t the first time I had tried (or “failed”) at entrepreneurship.
And if you zoom out, it wasn't that quick. Altogether, it's been a nonlinear 10+ year journey, with plot twists and detours I couldn’t have predicted.
I had already left corporate a few times before, only to go back when I needed more financial security. And for a long time, I thought that meant I had failed. That I had to “crawl back” to corporate because my business couldn’t sustain me.
But the more I spoke with other entrepreneurs—especially other women of color and first-gen entrepreneurs—I realized how normal this is.
Needing financial stability isn’t failure.
Getting a part-time or full-time job to fund your business isn’t failure.
Pivoting your idea isn’t failure.
Trying and learning and iterating isn’t failure. It’s just part of business and entrepreneurship.
I believe it's actually courage. Courage to believe in myself, bet on myself, time and time again, even after hard lessons.
Redefining Failure
I used to think of success as a milestone on a linear path.
If I didn't hit the mark, I thought I had failed.
But now I see success as a feeling—a sense of alignment, joy, and peace with the path I’m on.
That means failure isn’t:
Needing more capital to fund my business.
Taking a pause or changing directions.
Going back to corporate if I need to because I know I can always try again.
Failure isn't a catch-all phrase for “anything that’s not perfect.”
I’ve realized that true failure, to me, means giving up on myself.
And even then, it’s okay. Because it's okay to fail! And because I trust that I’ll find support when I need it, to believe in myself again.
My nervous system has learned that failure is okay and part of the process.
Even when I stumble, I land on my feet. My inner protector (the fierce first-gen eldest daughter in me) will never actually let me fail that bad.
I’m not scared of failure anymore because I’ve already “failed” multiple times…and I was okay.
And that’s made me more confident than ever.
💡 So, What Does Failure Mean to You?
Fear of failure holds so many of us back. Especially for first-gen daughters of immigrants, we’ve been taught that failure is the worst thing that could happen.
But what if it isn’t?
💭 What does failure mean to you, actually?
💭 What are you really afraid of?
💭 What new possibilities could open up if you weren’t so scared of failing?
If you’re ready to bring your creative entrepreneurial vision to life (even if you’re scared)…
👉🏼 Let’s chat. During our 1:1 Clarity Call, I'll help you:
Gain clarity on your desires for your life, business, and/or creative journey,
Uncover what's keeping you stuck, and
Create an action plan for your next 3-6 months
You don’t have to figure this out alone. I’ve had the support of incredible coaches and guides who’ve helped me get to where I am now and are helping me get to where I'm going. I live and breathe this work, and would love to support you.
Rooting for you,
Eunice
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Hi 👋🏼 I'm Eunice (she/her).
I’m a Somatic Business Coach for visionary daughters of immigrants, entrepreneurs, and creatives. I help you embody your brilliance, shine unapologetically, and create a thriving business and life you love, without burning out. ❤️🔥
Learn more about me & my 1:1 coaching.
Curious about what it could look like for you? ➡️ Book a Free 1:1 Clarity Call.
