When Your Loved Ones Live in Survival Mode
Just because your loved ones are in survival mode…doesn’t mean you have to stay there too.
Whether it’s your parents, your partner, or your friends, you don’t have to abandon the deep trust you hold in your vision, your creative business, and yourself.
As a first gen Korean American, eldest daughter of immigrants, and entrepreneur, I know how uncomfortable and guilt-inducing it can feel, just thinking about doing anything that goes against what our parents value. 😮💨
For me, I’ve always cared deeply about what my parents think.
Maybe it's filial piety. Maybe it's just a very normal universal human desire to want our parents to love us and be proud of us.
The truth is, my parents do believe in me, in their own way. It’s shown up in different ways over the years, but at the end of the day, they’ve supported me the best way they know how, and I am beyond grateful for them.
And to be fair, it's gotten a lot better since when I first embarked on my entrepreneurial journey years ago.
BUT they still worry.
About whether this path is secure, respectable, or financially stable enough.
I get it. They sacrificed so much so I could have options.
So when I chose entrepreneurship, they wondered,
Why would you go to Harvard just to choose an unpredictable career like entrepreneurship?
Why wouldn't you just go work for the government or a big company like Google? 😮💨 (Not that any of these options are actually stable options right now…)
To them, safety meant a steady paycheck. A 401(k). A prestigious title.
So when I chose entrepreneurship, I wasn’t just stepping into my dream. I was stepping outside their idea of safety.
Even though my dad is an entrepreneur (and other people in my family too, like my grandpa, my great grandmother, etc were entrepreneurs), I get why they were hesitant.
They didn't want me to go that same path because in their minds, they endured enough already, and they don't wish the hardship onto me.
Their worry often showed up as questions:
“So what exactly do you do?”
“How much are you making?”
Or a non-reaction when I shared an exciting win within my business
And when they didn’t respond with the level of excitement and trust that I wanted them to, I couldn't help but notice Little Me feeling disappointed and frustrated, feeling hints of self-doubt, second guessing myself.
That’s when I realized:
I needed to root deeper into my own self-trust in my body, so I don't feel as shaky every time someone else casts doubt onto me.
I needed gentle, clear boundaries, so I wasn’t constantly trying to prove myself or perform for love.
I needed to surround myself with aligned support so that I do receive the validation, upleveling, and connection in order to feel seen, nourished, motivated, challenged, and resourced to keep going.
Because building my business with a “prove them wrong” energy would still keep me stuck in survival mode, which keeps me from fully accessing my creativity, best ideas, and strategic business decisions.
I had to stop outsourcing my self-trust to even people who love me, because their zone of safety looked different from mine.
And this took more than mindset. More than strategy.
It took nervous system support, listening to my body, deepening the self-trust in my body, and receiving culturally-informed support from coaches who get it, with whom I don't have to constantly explain myself why it matters what my parents think.
This is how I could feel safe enough to expand beyond the fears my parents have had about the path I've chosen.
Because sometimes, our zone of genius lives beyond our family’s imagination. That doesn’t make us ungrateful. It makes us trailblazers.
Rooting for you,
Eunice
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Hi 👋🏼 I'm Eunice (she/her).
I’m a Somatic Business Coach for visionary daughters of immigrants, entrepreneurs, and creatives. I help you embody your brilliance, shine unapologetically, and create a thriving business and life you love, without burning out. ❤️🔥
Learn more about me & my 1:1 coaching.
Curious about what it could look like for you? ➡️ Book a Free 1:1 Clarity Call.
