Who's in your village? 🕯️
How to expand with pleasure (and reflections on my mother’s blessing ceremony)
A question I’ve been receiving from clients and collaborators recently is a variation of:
What’s been helping you expand into motherhood with pleasure?
I love this question because it touches on a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about these day.
The idea of a village.
The concept of a village is not new; it’s ancestral. And in this modern day, cultivating your village can look different for everyone.
As for me and my journey of pregnancy and expansion into motherhood, being open to receiving support from people around me has been instrumental to helping me feel more resourced and less alone.
I've been intentionally surrounding myself with the support that I need from my village, which includes my care team (my midwife, OB, doula, coach, chiropractor, acupuncturist, bodyworker, physical therapist, etc), my partner, family, and friends. I've also found a couple of local mother circles/events to be nourishing as well, and a few books too.
This may sound like such an obvious thing to do, but in the hyper-individualistic society that we live in, at least in the US, it’s something that required a lot of intention to cultivate. I also think a past version of Eunice would have struggled to be in that position of receptivity, to be open to receiving help.
Growing up as an eldest daughter of immigrants, I put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve and felt that I couldn’t rely on anyone to survive. In a lot of ways, I was wearing a hard shell around me, coping through hyper-independence.
Of course, looking back, nothing I achieved was done truly by myself. I received the support that my parents were able to give me, as well as help from kind souls, teachers, and friends along my journey.
But the difference was that I wasn’t proactively, intentionally nurturing a village around me—and was unable to see how instrumental interdependence is to our success and wellbeing.
Mother’s blessing
My journey to motherhood forced me to surrender to the truth that I cannot do this alone.
I cannot do motherhood alone.
In fact, the reason why I’ve been able to tap into the creativity and pleasure of my pregnancy and journey to motherhood is not solely due to the work I’ve been doing to connect deeply with my body and spirit. Really, the biggest source of strength has been the support I’ve been receiving from my village.
A moment that stands out as particularly magical was my mother's blessing ceremony: an intimate gathering to celebrate my rite of passage into motherhood. In a culture that focuses so much attention on the baby, I thought it would be deeply nourishing to invite an intentional space to receive support and love, as the mother.
I brought together a few of my closest friends, my umma (mother), my mother-in-law—the women and folks in my life who’ve been my village of support throughout my pregnancy—and one of the rituals we shared together was where they shared memories, reflections, and words of affirmations with me.
Of course, I put a ~sensorial~ spin to the ritual and made it a multimedia, playful, soulful, artful exercise. With the backdrop of relaxing singing bowls, we tapped into our childlike play and curiosity and created art, wrote letters, and expressed the affirmations through different mediums.
It was so fun to see everyone tap into their creative energy; I especially enjoyed witnessing my umma in her zone.
During the affirmation circle, what got reflected to me was the strength they see in me, the beauty, the wisdom, the grace with which I navigate change—qualities I sometimes forget are some of my superpowers.
There were tears, laughter, and an overall shared sacred inner knowing that this moment was truly special.
Oftentimes I think it can be really hard for us to see our superpowers to the fullest extent within ourselves.
That's why I believe when we embark on our journey to come home to ourselves and speak our truth with the world, it is so important to have a village around us who can remind us of our magic, mirror back the beautiful reflection that is you.
This is especially pivotal when navigating big transformations, whether you are rebirthing into motherhood, reclaiming the artist within you, or unblocking your voice and speaking your truth with the world.
My questions for you:
Who’s coming with you into this next season?
I invite you to reflect on who you’re surrounding yourself with as you usher in your new era.
What support are you needing?
Who’s helping you feel safe, nourished, and courageous?
Who else do you want to call into your village?
How are you showing up for the folks in your village?
I’d love to hear from you~
Rooting for you,
Eunice
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Hi 👋🏼 I'm Eunice (she/her).
I’m a Somatic Business Coach for visionary daughters of immigrants, entrepreneurs, and creatives. I help you embody your brilliance, shine unapologetically, and create a thriving business and life you love, without burning out. ❤️🔥
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